Sunday 8th July 2012

I think, I hope, I pray that things are becoming a bit clearer.  Now have a plan, a bit on the vague side but a plan, of what I want to do. First I have to wait until the man in Exeter does what he has promised to do i.e. move out. Then I will pursue Social Services and the solicitor, by whatever means, to get them to admit they made mistakes and to give me an apology. I don’t want revenge or even financial compensation, although the latter would be nice, I simply want them to admit they hurt me and to say sorry.

Once the house in Exeter is sold, I’m going to look for a new place to live. I’ve moved far too many times since Gareth died but never for the RIGHT reasons.  We had a lovely house that we’d both worked hard on but I didn’t feel I could cope with the garden without his help – the idea that I could pay a gardener once a month never even occurred to me. After that I met John and it was move, move and move again, each time trying to fix the problem of our relationship which was, I now know, unfixable.

So, once the Exeter house is sold, I’ll be on the lookout for a house that suits me. I don’t care if it needs works, it’s the basic shell I’m looking for – a large bedroom that I can turn into an office/art/music room, a kitchen with room for a table and a garden that’s big but not vast. It also needs to be within easy walking distance of the station.

Having decided all this, I’m actually starting to look forward to some of the good things that are coming my way, like Swanwick.

To end with a question – whose bright ideas was it to have the Wimbledon Men’s Singles final (with the first British man playing for more than seventy years) on at the same time as the British Grand Prix. I can watch the race highlights, but it’s not the same.