My sales this year are way down. I’ve sold twenty four stories so far. I’ve also had a competition prize and several stories published in collections but I’m still way behind. Twenty four sales might sound good (and it is if you don’t earn your living writing stories) but I need to sell 4 a month to feel remotely comfortable.
My output was badly affected by the problems I had with Mum.
By now I should have written 80 stories (2 a week x 40 odd weeks), but I've only managed 42. It's no wonder sales are down. I'm still struggling to get up to speed, especially now I'm doing other things. I needed books to take with me when I spoke to groups and ran workshops. I'm also selling them direct from my web site which is a great leap forward and was easier than I'd thought (see www.akacatherinehwoard.weebly.com) but it’s short story sales that are my life blood.
I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about Mum and whether I’ve done the right thing. Basically, I've had to try and forget about her which sounds hard, but speaking to her doesn't help either of us and now she's in the home, she seems to be perfectly content. She never asks to ring me. I still feel very bad about this, but she's so far gone, I have to tell myself she's in the best place and there's nothing I can do to make things any better, for either of us.
Right now I'm doing my best to be more positive but the spectre of my past still haunts me, and probably always will.
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